Glioblastoma Multiforme - stage 4 brain cancer. One year ago today those are the words that we heard from the doctor after he reviewed the results of mom's biopsy. Little did we know as we moved her to the nursing home two days later, that she would only live one more month. I did visit her at least once almost every day during that month, but I so wish I could have done more. I wish I could have had her around longer. I wasn't done learning from my mom, I wasn't done loving her, I wasn't prepared to live without her.
I do not wish her back because I know she is with Jesus. She had a very strong faith, so there is no doubt about where she is spending eternity. But I miss her. I miss her so much. I don't think anything prepares you for the death of a mother. Every night as I fall asleep, I am thinking back to last year. I am reliving the high points, and the low points. I am reliving the quiet moments of prayer, and the moments when I totally desolved in loud sobs. And it hurts just as much this time as it did the first time. And I feel so alone.
I miss my mom.