Wednesday, January 28, 2009


Yup. Sometimes I forget that I really don't live here. Sometimes I forget that I have a home bigger than 8X15. Sometimes I forget that it isn't summer!

I've been working on more bags; have finished a red and blue floral one that I'm going to use as a purse, and am starting on a yellow floral one. Yesterday I thought: wow, I like this yellow one, I think I'll keep it, too, and use it when I get home. A yellow floral bag? In February or March? In Minnesota? Oh, I guess not. It isn't spring there, is it? I forgot because it's been plenty warm and quite humid here. I am covered in some bug bites, and I don't think those pesky no-seeums are around in Minnesota in January, are they? I just forgot.

As we were leaving a Christian bookstore yesterday, I was marveling about the sandals and crop pants and short sleeved T-shirt I was wearing. No boots, coats, hats, scarves, mittens, and layers here! I keep forgetting where I am!

Another thing I keep forgetting is that my mom is gone. Every day I think of something I need to call her about. I see something I want to tell her about or show her. I find something I know she'd love and I want to buy it for her. It's just a fleeting thought and then reality comes back and my eyes tear up and I remember. I remember that I don't have a mom or dad. I remember that I'm an orphan. And then I think that I would rather forget.


Just Joni said...

oh you silly girl, you're not an orphan...and I see nothing wrong with getting something special that your mom would like just for the memory of sharing it and whose to say she isn't helping you pick it out's have a way of just being there even when they're not...

good luck with the mosquito bites, that'll teach ya' to run off and have all that fun while the rest of the country freezes over...*wink.

Lisa said...

Oh Marge, that made me tear up too. I am so sorry that you have those feelings. It must be a horrible empty feeling to have them gone. We just don't realize how it is going to feel till we are there.

Let's just start planning our meeting place...your beach sounds fine to me to meet at.

Linda up north said...

I understand how you feel. On Mother's Day, for the first several years after my mom went to heaven, I felt so awful. When my husband or kids asked me what was wrong I would just say, "Well, my mom is dead for Mother's Day again this year." :(
Don't forget, though... your mom is not lost to you. Just living somewhere wonderful, waiting to see you again! :)
God's Peace be with you!